Take the sting out of rejection with the Rejection Generator

Some creative minds at Stoneslide Media have built an invention to liberate writers from the pain of being rejected. Inspired by psychological research showing that after people experience pain they’re less afraid of it in the future, the Rejection Generator helps writers be pre-rejected.

You simply choose a category of rejection, fill out your e-mail address, and you will immediately receive a rejection note. Stoneslide Media reports that each letter is ingeniously painful and discouraging.

According to Jonathan Weisberg at Stoneslide: “The printing press liberated scribes from manual copying. The typewriter liberated writers from hand cramps.The Internet liberated writers from post office lines and human interaction. Finally, a new invention can liberate writers from their greatest bane: rejection.”

An example of one of the rejections:

Dear Writer,

I regret that we cannot publish your novel. You were so close. We liked it so much at first.

Your novel appeared to be something of a very high order. It was crystalline, jewel-like, while being as strong as metal mined from Earth’s deepest depths. But somehow you screwed up this thing that read, initially, like a perfection. Way to go.

Sincerely,
The Editors

At any given time, you’ll find seven categories of rejection available. Regular rotation of the rejections prevents users from becoming inured to any one approach, according to Weisberg. Categories include: The Thumper; Ego Shredder; Old Belcher; and The Civil Gesture. The Generator continuously creates more.

For more details, visit the The Stoneslide Corrective.